Learn More About Dating as a Single Mom
Getting back out there again, especially if you’ve already been through a bad divorce or breakup, can be very difficult. And children only complicate things further. But it’s not impossible.
Go Out With a Group
The time-honored group outing can be a wonderful way to prospect for a date. When you have a number of individuals all rallying behind you, it’s much easier to put yourself out there. Plus, if that group happens to be a group of your existing friends, it’s much easier to gather the courage that you need to strike out again.
You’ll need a babysitter for this option if you have younger kids, but everyone needs a night away once in a while. If you have friends who also have kids, maybe they can all stay together at one of your houses, and you can split the cost of a babysitter. If they really want to help you get back out there again, your group of friends will be happy to help with such logistics.
Check the Online Dating Scene
Online dating is more popular than ever, and much of the stigma that once surrounded it is gone. It’s an incredibly useful way to meet people, especially if you don’t have a lot of time or energy to go out alone. You don’t need a babysitter or even very much time to yourself to at least get started.
One of the most interesting things that online dating has facilitated is the creation of incredibly specific dating groups. Of course, you can find online dating for single parents, but what about single parents who are really interested in fantasy movies? What about single parents who have all daughters? What about single parents with vegetable gardens? As crazy as it sounds, you might be able to find groups just that specific.
Socialize With Your Friends
This is an important part of life as a single mom even if you’re not looking to get back into the dating scene. You need friends outside of your immediate family, and a friend hangout can truly be the perfect way to start reconnecting with the people you love once more.
A useful thing about this method is that you can choose whether you want to use this time to look for a potential date, or you’re just interested in enjoying yourself with some platonic friends. Plus, who knows? As you get closer to your pre-existing friends, you may find that you get along particularly well with a specific member of that friend group, or a certain friend of a friend who’s started joining you all.
Should I Look for Certain Qualities in Dates Because of My Kids?
As a single mom, you’re in a very unique position that some people don’t understand. So what do you need to look for in a date as a single mom?
Care for Kids
If you already have kids, it’s extremely important that any of your potential dates at least generally care about kids. This is usually at the top of any single parent’s list, and most single parents know to look for it. But it still bears repeating. Whether or not you want to have more kids, anyone you move into a serious relationship with will now have kids.
It’s important that you don’t try to believe that you might change the other person. This doesn’t have to be a moral judgment — if you meet someone who has everything you want but doesn’t like kids, it doesn’t mean that person is bad. It just means that the person isn’t for you.
Anyone with kids knows that you inherently need a measure of flexibility to be a great parent. But as a single mom, you’re probably even more used to things being completely up in the air. It’s just part of your lifestyle at this point that your plans are constantly changing, and you often need to keep your schedule open.
Some people need more of a routine in life. That’s fine, but it’s probably not the best for where you are in life right now. Once you find someone who you really like, talk about how flexibility plays a part in that and start discussing how you can work together there.
Everyone changes throughout life; no matter how well-off or thoroughly established you are, there’s still change somewhere around the corner. But if you have kids, you need someone who at least has an idea of what the rest of that life will be. It’s probably not a good idea to start dating someone without a job or a goal of any kind for the future.
Obviously, this doesn’t mean your ideal significant other has to have years of experience in a salaried, corporate position. Some people also enjoy roaming the world in search of adventure, and that’s not inherently a bad thing. But when you have kids to care for, you should probably gravitate more toward people who want to settle down.
How Can I Keep Myself and My Kids Safe Around a New Partner?
For single moms, dating safety isn’t just about individual safety; it’s also about the safety of your kids. What can you do to make sure that your new partner is safe for everyone in your home?
Wait to Introduce Your Partner and Your Kids
Although this is an important safety measure, it’s also just important that you don’t introduce young children to a potential partner too soon. Kids form emotional attachments very quickly, and if that relationship goes sour, everyone might end up having to deal with the fallout. On the other hand, you want to make sure your kids feel included.
There’s no specific figure that can exactly predict when you need to introduce your partner and your children. You really just have to feel it out. When things start getting serious and you know the person’s going to be part of your life for a while, you should probably move into introductions.
Perform a Lot of Research
When you bring a new partner into your life, you have to make sure that the person in question is as safe as possible. Minor issues that might not have bothered you a few years ago can now be genuine deal-breakers. It’s important that you get all that information before you get especially close to someone.
The best way to do your research in this instance is with PeopleFinders. PeopleFinders has so many tools offering so much information, and that means it’s easier than ever for you to effectively ensure that you and your kids stay safe. From making sure the two of you have a strong relationship to determining whether or not you feel safe with your partner around your kids, PeopleFinders will help you out.
Use All the Tools at Your Disposal
You’re probably used to doing this already as a single mom, and this offers you the chance to continue it even more closely. PeopleFinders has a variety of different tools that may help bring you information from different sources. When you combine all of them, you’ll be able to understand more about your significant other, hopefully for the better.
You can use all these tools in tandem. Use the people search to look your partner up by name, and make sure that they aren’t lying about past information. Enter your date’s phone number to perform a reverse phone lookup and see if you can find available public records for them that way. With a criminal records search, look into if your partner has any violent convictions or felonies. With that, it all combines to form a cohesive picture of your date, one that you can decide is safe to be a part of your kids’ lives or not.