It happened yet again. After a few weeks or months, the person you’ve been dating breaks things off. Why does this keep happening? What’s wrong with you?
Nothing, most likely. But there very well could be a reason (or more than one) why you can’t seem to hold on to relationships. So, before you dive in again, take some time to self-reflect and see if any obvious patterns emerge, like:
-Going out with people who are wrong for you
-Feeling distrustful of your partners
-Not fitting into a traditional relationship mold
-Not actually being ready for a relationship
You Keep Attracting the Wrong People
You may have a certain “type” of person that you’re attracted to. Unfortunately, that could include people who are bad for you. Or people who are not where you are emotionally.
Try to take a step back and see if you can observe any shared characteristics between your most recent partners. And if there are any, really think about if those characteristics actually align with your needs. Are they always mean to you? Do they not share the same level of ambition as you? Are their political views or other values not compatible with yours?
What you may discover is that certain personality types, which may seem exciting and fun to you in the beginning, are not the same ones that will be good for you over the long-term.
You Are Unable to Trust Your Partners
If you’ve been cheated on or otherwise betrayed in the past, that can be hard to get over. Such an experience can be quite traumatic. And it can color any relationships moving forward.
However, you need to learn to trust again if you want to have a strong, long-term relationship. (Easier said than done, we know.) To try and get there, you and your partner need to be able to engage in open and honest communication with one another.
If you continue to have trouble, you could also consider counseling or self-help books to help you acknowledge and take better control of your trust issues.
You Aren’t Emotionally Ready
You may worry about why you can’t hold on to relationships? But are you really sure you want to be in a relationship? Sure, you may tell yourself that, but what is your gut really telling you?
If you’ve been scarred by bad relationships, you may need to take some time to take care of yourself before moving onto another one. Or maybe all you are currently capable of at this point in your life is playing the field.
Take stock of where you are emotionally and what you are realistically able to bring to a relationship. This is not to bring judgment onto yourself, but to be honest with where you are in the whole dating and relationship world. If you’re not ready, you’re not ready.
You Aren’t Made for Traditional Relationships
When it comes to relationships, cultural norms die hard. Things are changing somewhat, but there are still some relationship patterns that continue to be more universally accepted than others. Dating for a while, then marriage, then two or three kids.
You might feel pressure to fit into that kind of traditional relationship mold. But maybe it isn’t for you. You may want to be with someone, but perhaps the idea of marriage terrifies you. Or maybe you’re more the serial monogamist type.
Ultimately, regardless of other people’s opinions or social mores, you need to decide what’s right for you. Then, once you do that, being honest with yourself and your potential partners is the only way to wind up truly satisfied and successful in your relationships, in whatever form they may be.
Learn more about dating, cheating, and other kinds of relationship matters by reading the posts at the PeopleFinders blog. And to find out more about people you may consider dating, try out our dedicated people search.
Image attribution: Photo by Antonio Guillem – www.shutterstock.com
