Marriages aren’t always going to go well without a lot of work. Some relationships can deteriorate a bit, sometimes to the point where you might even worry about whether it will make it on a long-term basis. The good news is that many relationships that feel like they’re in the process of falling apart can come back together, given the right tools and information. Here are six things you can do if you’re looking to repair your marriage.
1. Accept Any Problems You’ve Created
The most important first step is to avoid placing all the blame on your partner. It’s tempting to look for all the problems your spouse has created in the relationship, then blame them for the marriage problems you’re experiencing. However, it’s extremely rare that the problems are truly that one-sided in a relationship. Take a step back and recognize when you’ve created problems first.
2. Be Honest About the Problems You’re Experiencing
You need to be honest with yourself about the problems you’re experiencing in the relationship. What problems are you running into? Do you feel like your partner isn’t paying attention to you? Do you feel unloved? Does it feel like your partner isn’t listening to you? Take down these problems with absolutely no judgment on your end, and be honest about them with yourself.
3. Talk Openly About Problems and Potential Solutions
Next, you need to sit down with your partner and talk openly about not only the problems you’re experiencing but also the possible solutions you’ve considered. Being open about this is the only way things are ever going to get better. Although it can feel awkward and uncomfortable to do so, you need to be open and direct about these things. After all, your spouse can’t read your mind and understand what your problems are.
4. Allow Your Partner To Talk Openly About Problems They’re Having
When you have this conversation, it’s crucial that your partner is allowed to talk openly about any problems they’ve had in the relationship. This can’t be a one-sided monologue where you only talk about what you’re upset about. It has to be a true conversation. When your partner is talking about problems they’ve been experiencing, make sure you actually listen. Your partner deserves to have their needs met just like you do.
5. Write Out a List of Things You Each Want To Change
After this conversation, each person should write out a list of the things they would like the other person to change, as well as a list of things they feel like they actively need to change. There should be things on both of these lists; neither person should expect the other to change without changing themselves to some extent. After you have your lists, talk to each other and make sure your lists are acceptable to each other.
6. Agree To Go At It Together
The last step is to make an agreement with each other that you’ll try your best to do this together. Some couples find it beneficial to actually make a “contract” that they’ll do their best to fix the relationship. Some couples make this agreement personally or bring in a friend who can attest to their agreement. Going at it together is the best way to make sure you end up fixing the relationship.
Repairing a marriage is not always easy, and it requires a lot of work on both partners’ parts. If you feel your marriage has hit a particularly rough spot and you want to work on making it better, it’s a good idea to follow these steps to try and do so. The PeopleFinders blog can also be a great tool for repairing existing relationships and staying safe in new ones. Make sure you’re protecting yourself and the people in your family by keeping an eye out.
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