It’s extremely hard to rebuild trust in a relationship after cheating has occurred. After all, people who have cheated before are the most likely people to cheat in a relationship, and that fear often looms over both partners’ heads once cheating has happened. If your partner has decided to give the relationship another go, it’s important to actively build trust, rather than just letting the relationship take a more natural course. Here are some easy, simple ways to do just that.
Volunteer important information.
Your partner shouldn’t have to interrogate you in order for you to tell them important things. If your ex got in touch with you again, your best friend said something about your partner that made you uncomfortable, or you even just have a question about the state of your relationship, put it out there. You shouldn’t wait for your partner to ask you before you tell them important things, and they shouldn’t have to ask questions constantly to feel like they’re a part of your life. This is a great tip even for normal relationships, but it’s imperative if you’re trying to rebuild trust.
Introduce them to your friends.
A pretty common way that people get away with cheating is by just having a friend group who never talks to their significant other. To avoid that, just let all of your friends get to know your partner. That way, there can be open communication between your partner and your friends, and your friends can hold you just as accountable as your partner will.
Be truthful in everything, not just in relationship issues.
When you talk to your partner, you need to be completely well-intentioned and only say things that are actually true — no “inflating the truth,” no “exaggerating a bit,” just the stone-cold truth. It’s not just important that you tell them the actual facts about where you’re going and who you’re going with; it’s important that you tell them the truth in general. Never lie, even just about casual things, and you’ll find that your relationship is healthier for it.
There’s no reason you should hide your feelings, frustrations, and excitement from your significant other. Communication is one of the most important things in a healthy relationship, and that’s always what you should be striving for. Even if it’s uncomfortable, embarrassing, or frustrating, you shouldn’t feel like you can’t say things that you’re thinking about. Make sure your partner feels like they can voice concerns as well.
Delete potentially tempting accounts.
Don’t leave that second Facebook account open, don’t leave your fake email account available, and definitely don’t keep your “slightly exaggerated” Tinder account active. Though it’s pretty much a given that you shouldn’t be using them, it’s easier to just go the extra mile and delete them altogether. Not only will it give your significant other a little more peace of mind, but if you find yourself reverting to your old ways, you’ll have to create entirely new accounts, giving you some extra time to stop yourself. It’s also easier for your partner to catch you if you have to make new accounts, as opposed to already having fake accounts set up and ready to go. Get rid of them entirely, and get rid of them as soon as possible.
Agree to restrict privacy a little more than before.
When your partner’s caught you cheating, they’re naturally going to be a little more suspicious going forward. Take the initiative and give up some of your privacy for the sake of the relationship. Consider steering your partner toward PeopleFinders and giving them a little brief on how to use it. Give them the phone numbers of any new friends, and let them look those phone numbers up using the reverse phone search so they can know you’re telling the truth about who that number belongs to. By being the first one to act and letting them know you’re okay with them keeping tabs on you by using PeopleFinders, you’ll build trust and respect. They’ll have more faith that you’re not going to cheat again, and that’s the end goal.
It’s not easy to build trust in a relationship after you’ve been caught cheating, and the first step to building trust is recognizing that it’s perfectly normal and acceptable for your partner not to trust you for some time. You have to earn that trust back, and the best way to do that is to take the first step and tell your partner exactly how you plan to be more easily held accountable. Introduce them to PeopleFinders and tell them that you’re okay with them keeping their own tabs on you. You’ll be amazed by how quickly you can rebuild a relationship by putting the reins in their hands. As long as you’re going to actually put in the work to keep yourself from cheating, you can make your relationship functional again.