Of all the possible dangers that lurk on the internet, nothing brings terror to the mind of a parent quite as much as the online predator. This anonymous, malevolent presence lurks quietly on social media, online gaming sites and chat rooms, waiting for just the right opportunity to pounce on the right child.
How can parents fight back against these shadowy lurkers? It relies largely on recognizing an online predator when you see one, teaching kids how to recognize and react to one, and then reporting the person to the proper authorities when needed.
How Online Predators Operate
While different in the specific details, online predators tend to follow similar patterns when it comes to targeting victims. Essentially, they go out to find a child and then groom them for performing any of a number of depraved acts.
Hunting
This is the lurking stage. Essentially, a predator will go to online locations that children frequent. Then, they will attempt to engage with an individual or group. Once a child responds, this person will move forward with efforts to gain the child’s trust.
Online predators want their potential victims to feel like they can relate to them. For that, they often pretend to be a child themselves. It starts innocently enough with online small talk–friendly trash talk during game play, for example, or talking about a favorite music group in a chat room. But then chatting escalates into deeper, private conversations.
Grooming
The metaphor of a fish on a hook is apt. When they get a child’s attention, the online predator will attempt to reel in their catch with questions about things the child likes. What’s the child’s favorite sports team? Their favorite restaurant or place to hang out? Questions like these work toward gaining trust. And they have the added benefit of helping a predator pinpoint where the child lives.
They may commiserate with a child’s feelings of anger, loneliness or inadequacy with their own stories of being bullied or fighting with their parents. They understand exactly what the child is going through.
Over time, weeks or even months, online chatting can develop into an online friendship that feels emotionally satisfying to a vulnerable child. Getting to this point makes it much easier for a predator to slip in talk of sexual situations, propose that the child take and send suggestive pictures, or even decide to meet up in person.
Ways for Parents to Protect Their Kids
If you are a parent, the idea of an online predator targeting your children is rightfully frightening. That’s why it’s up to you to keep an eye on things and teach your kids how to react:
- Talk to your child about internet safety in general. You don’t need to scare them to death. But do make sure your children know basic internet safety tenets, and that they understand there are people out there who use the internet to do bad things.
- Limit the amount of time your child spends online. This reduces the amount of time an online predator might need to hook your child. And it’s probably better for your child to not be online so much anyway.
- Consider parent control apps. The right parental control app gives you the control to keep track of what your child is doing online when you can’t be there to monitor it yourself.
- Remind your child about “stranger danger.” Sure, an online friend may seem trustworthy. But they don’t really know them.
- Make sure your child feels comfortable coming to you should an online friend start making sexual advances.
Apart from teaching good practices, it is also up to you to recognize if your child appears to be having emotional difficulties. This can make them vulnerable to predators. Or it can even be a sign that your child is already under a predator’s spell.
How to Escalate Things
Do you feel like someone speaking to your child online could be a predator? It may not be enough to just block them. You may choose to get the authorities involved to at least perform an investigation. Doing so could also very well stop a predator from targeting anyone else:
- FBI. The Federal Bureau of Investigation has established a Crimes Against Children task force dedicated to all child victims of crime, including from online predators. You can contact your regional FBI field office to report your concerns.
- Center for Missing or Exploited Children (NCMEC). The NCMEC works to protect children from all types of victimization. If you feel the need to report a possible crime, they have an online tip line.
- 911. If a situation has escalated to the point of an emergency, 911 should always be your first choice to keep your child safe.
For more information about ways to keep your kids, yourself, and other loved ones safe, read all about it on the PeopleFinders Blog.
Photo credit: Sam Wordley – www.shutterstock.com
