Monday, April 12, 2021

How to Deal With Learning That Your Partner Is Cheating on You


Nobody wants to hear that their partner is cheating on them. It’s upsetting, and, most importantly, it’s a severe breach of trust that you might never be able to rebuild. The fact, however, is that in over a third of marriages, either one or both partners have admitted to cheating on their spouse, and that might be even higher in dating relationships. It’s fairly likely that you’ll have to deal with some form of cheating in a relationship at some point, so it’s important to know how to deal with it if it happens. Here’s a quick guide to what you should do if you find out that your partner is cheating.

Gather information about who they’re cheating with

This is an important part of eventually confronting them. If you know who they’re cheating with, no matter what you know about them, it gets harder for them to deny what they’re doing. It also means you’ve done your homework, and your partner will know that. One of the best ways to gather information about the person they’re cheating with is to find out the person’s name, phone number, or both, and do a people search on them.

A search like PeopleFinders can help. PeopleFinders lets you search not only by name and location but also by phone number. They can find information on people that you would have never found on your own, and it’s even a great way to start finding other information, including Facebook pages and accounts on other social media sites.

Look for the warning signs you might have missed before

People who are cheating try many different ways to cover their tracks, and many of them are obvious once you know they are cheating. Look for unexplained absences, and even ask their friends if your partner was, in fact, hanging out with them when they said they were. If they’re lying to you about smaller things, you might also want to collect those; big lies tend to go along with small lies. There are infinite potential warning signs, and keeping track of them will make it easier for you to confront them when you finally decide to. You don’t need to keep track of every single little thing, but creating a watertight argument includes as much relevant evidence as possible.

Collect incriminating evidence that proves they’re cheating

This might take the form of finding a way to get screenshots of text conversations, recording voice conversations, or even talking to the person they’re cheating with. Sometimes, the person they’re cheating with doesn’t even know they’re part of an affair, and it’s likely they’ll be just as angry as you are when they find out. Using PeopleFinders can get you the information you need to contact that person.

Present them with the evidence

Once you’ve created an evidence-based list of things that prove they’re cheating, you’ll probably want to confront them about it. People usually don’t want to stay in a cheating relationship, and if you don’t want to overlook the cheating, you need to confront them and tell them you’re not going to let it continue. It’s even better if you can get the person they’re cheating with to confront them as well because then they will have no way to deny it. Remember that the other person frequently doesn’t know your partner is cheating any more than you did, and cheating strikes a dissonant chord in most people.


Learning that your partner is cheating on you can make you feel inadequate, or as if you should have done something to keep more satisfied. It’s important to remember that they decided to cheat, no matter what. Most of the time, any problems that may have lead to cheating could have been resolved with some communication, but that still doesn’t give them an excuse for their actions.

Getting enough evidence to confront them with their infidelity might be difficult, and if you need a way to ensure that they can’t deny your argument, you should use PeopleFinders to gather information. It’s not as difficult as you might think to get ahold of that phone number, whether you use a dating site your partner did, take their phone for a couple of minutes, or you see the number when they call your partner. PeopleFinders’ reverse phone search can help you turn that phone number into evidence that they’ve been cheating on you. And don’t stay with them on their word that they’re not cheating. Decide for yourself once you’ve gathered the evidence.

PeopleFinders was launched in 1999 to give people easy access to public records data. The PeopleFinders mission is to find, organize and make information accessible - empowering people with meaningful answers.

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