Home Relationships Is Your Partner Secretive About Friends and Family?

Is Your Partner Secretive About Friends and Family?

family kept private in relationship

family kept private in relationship

If you’ve noticed that your partner rarely talks about friends and family, or seems to shy away at the idea of introducing you, it might start to seem a little suspicious.

Is there a reason for it? Should you concern yourself with it? When is it time to take matters into your own hands? These are all common questions that people have when their partner seems to be a bit too secretive about friends and family.

To see if you really have reason to be worried, ask yourself these other questions before moving forward:

How Long Have You Been Together?

Most people hold off on introducing partners to friends and family until the relationship has become serious, especially if it’s long-distance or otherwise a hassle.

If you haven’t met your partner’s family, but you’ve only been dating for a month, it’s not necessarily as suspicious as if you were dating for two years without ever meeting the parents.

Likewise, if your partner’s family lives very far away, it might make sense that you haven’t met them yet. The logistics are just too difficult. Your first step shouldn’t be suspicion, especially if you haven’t been dating for long.

Does Your Partner Talk About Family and Friends Otherwise?

If not, this is an indication that your partner is just generally being secretive, rather than lagging on introducing you to friends and family. Your partner should have friends outside of you, and most people still maintain some sort of connection with their family.

If you’ve never heard much about your partner’s life outside of you, that may very well be on purpose. Remember that relationships require trust, so if your partner keeps secrets from you, it’s cause for concern.

Has Your Partner Mentioned Reasons for Being Cautious?

If your partner is genuinely being hesitant about introducing you to friends and family, there may be a reason for that. Consider talking to your partner about it if you feel like this is happening. People who are being somewhat secretive but have a good reason for it will usually tell you why.

For example, if your partner never mentions family, it may just be that he or she is estranged, which can definitely be a sore subject. If your partner had a relationship that turned sour after introducing the other person to friends and family, he or she may want to hold back until the relationship has matured. Communication is key; you shouldn’t jump to conclusions.

Should You Try and Get in Contact on Your Own?

Sometimes, someone hiding friends and family from you can mean that that person’s trying to control you. Maybe your partner’s worried that you’ll learn about bad past relationships, or you’ll get a sense that something’s wrong when you meet his or her friends. If you think that this secrecy may be on purpose–especially if you can’t seem to work it out directly–it may be time to take things into your own hands. You can attempt to do that with PeopleFinders.

Want to try and get in touch with family members directly, and make sure there’s nothing fishy going on? When you use PeopleFinders, you can try to access the contact information for your partner’s friends and family.

How do you start? Just use your partner’s name to perform a people search. From there, you may be able to see a list of their relatives and other associates. Then you can search each of those names to try and find their contact information. You may be able to use that information to contact family members directly, or maybe find them on social media or elsewhere online.

Those same searches may even reveal the hidden reason why your partner doesn’t want you to meet the family. (As in, they may have criminal records.) In that case–while they should certainly be more open with their communication–your partner could actually be trying to protect you, not hiding their own bad behavior.


Just because a partner doesn’t seem interested in introducing you to friends and family, that doesn’t mean that something’s going on. It could just be trust issues, bad previous relationships, or a poor relationship with family. However, sometimes there’s something wrong, and it’s smart to try and find out for sure.

When those circumstances roll around, it’s important to have PeopleFinders in your back pocket, so you can use it to try and make sure everything’s okay. Checking directly is a good way to either ensure that everything is actually okay, or to confirm your worries. Either way, at least you won’t be waiting in suspense.

Image attribution: F8studio – stock.adobe.com



Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here