How to Tell Your Friend That Their Partner Is Cheating

Author: PeopleFinders on May 21st, 2020
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Most people consider their friends to be an extremely important part of their life, and if you have friends that are very close to you, it’s likely that you’ll also get to meet their significant others at some point. However, meeting their significant others may come with some unexpected consequences. If you get to know a friend’s partner over some amount of time, and you then discover suspicious text messages, see him or her at strange places, and notice behavior changes, you may start to be worried about the possibility of your friend being cheated on. How do you approach your friend with your discoveries? Here’s a simple guide.

Gather All the Data First

The one thing you definitely don’t want to do is go into a conversation about cheating with little to no evidence. If you come to your friend and accuse his or her partner of cheating, your friend is naturally going to be at least a little defensive; after all, no one wants to hear that a partner may have been lying for a long time. If you don’t have the evidence required to back up your claims, your friend may just get frustrated with you, leading to a fight that may end badly. Even worse, if your friend confronts the partner, he or she may just deny it and then start doing a better job of being discreet.

If you want to make sure you’re getting all the evidence you need, PeopleFinders is the way to go. You can run a full background check on your friend’s partner, use the People Search function to find any phone numbers or even addresses he or she has been hiding, and even check the source of incoming calls to the partner’s phone by using the Reverse Phone Lookup. If you want even more information on catching cheating partners and confronting them, check out the PeopleFinders blog.

Decide on a Plan of Action

Before you even talk to your friend, you’ll need to decide how you’re going to help him or her proceed. Confronting a cheater is a huge decision, and one that requires a lot of planning, so getting a head start on that planning can be very helpful if your friend decides to confront the partner. You don’t have to determine the specifics of everything, just the basics.

You can come up with plenty of “basic” decisions. For example, is there any extra information that your friend will be able to track, such as the partner being out late multiple times a week? Do you think your friend will be willing to give the partner another chance, or do you think he or she will just decide to be done with the whole issue at once? If your friend and the partner don’t live together, where do you think would be a good neutral place to do the confrontation that isn’t in a public area? Coming up with preliminary answers to some of these questions can help your friend plan more effectively for a confrontation.

Talk with Your Friend

Choose a place where you can sit and talk with your friend for a length of time. You may choose to break the news at his or her house, or go out to lunch if you know the reaction will be contained. Whatever you decide, it’s important to say it gently, and to back up everything you’re saying with the evidence you’ve accumulated. You don’t want to seem like you’re accusing the partner because you’re jealous of their relationship or that you’re distrustful of the partner for no good reason. It’s likely that you’ll be angry on your friend’s behalf, but try to stay calm. It’ll help your friend stay calm as well, leading to a more productive conversation.


It’s never easy to tell someone that you believe his or her partner is cheating. However, with the right amount of grace and understanding, you can help your friend come to terms with it and decide what to do next. Your friend sees the partner every day; tell your friend to take the reins and build up his or her own evidence and reasoning as to whether the partner is cheating. If your friend is more willing to snoop through the partner’s phone a little, he or she may benefit from using PeopleFinders as well. Either way, don’t just let the cheating continue unhindered. By telling your friend, everyone will benefit from the openness and honesty, even if it doesn’t seem so at first.

photo credit: georgerudy –

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Categorized in: Relationships