Are You Considering Polygamy? Look at This First!

Author: PeopleFinders on May 21st, 2020
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Polygamous and polyamorous relationships have always been around, but Western culture has always seen it as a taboo of sorts. However, it’s now in vogue to some extent, and it’s actually possible you’ll want to consider polygamy at some point. Certain studies suggest that at least one in five people in the United States have engaged in some form of polyamory in their lifetime, and that figure is likely to rise as more people start to understand what polyamory actually entails. It’s certainly not something to take lightly though. Many people would never be comfortable with a polyamorous relationship, and being bullied into it would be bad for all involved. Here are some things to think about before you agree to a polyamorous relationship.

Do you feel like your partner is pressuring you into it?

If your partner wants to be in a polyamorous relationship, it’s then on you to make a decision, and it’s perfectly normal and well within your rights to say no. If your partner suggests that he or she will be hurt if you say no, or suggests that cheating may occur down the line if you decline, then you’re probably in a relationship that can’t handle polygamy anyway. Saying these things is a red flag, not just for a polyamorous relationship, for any relationship. Remember that a relationship needs to be two people working together, not one person doing whatever he or she wants.

Do you actually feel uncomfortable? If you do, then investigate why

It’s automatic to feel uncomfortable with a polyamorous relationship, just because of the taboo placed upon it for so long. To decide if you feel truly uncomfortable with the idea of being in a polyamorous relationship, you need to take some time and think about it. Why are you uncomfortable with it? Do you actually know what polyamorous relationships entail, or are you going on potentially untrue ideas that you’ve picked up along the way? Coming up with an actual, tangible reason you feel uncomfortable with entering a polyamorous relationship can help you with the decision you’ll make. It’ll also give you some good talking points with your partner.

Are you worried about other people’s opinions of your relationship?

Because of the inherent negativity surrounding polyamory, it’s natural to be worried about people’s reactions to knowing you’re in a polyamorous relationship. Polyamory, which simply entails being in an intimate relationship with multiple people, is also much more casual and simpler to hide than polygamy, which involves being in a marital relationship with multiple people. If you’re okay with the idea of a polyamorous relationship but you don’t want to tell people about it, consider setting it up that way.

What are your boundaries in a polyamorous relationship?

Despite what you may initially think, being in a polyamorous relationship doesn’t just give both partners free reign to do whatever they want. People create different boundaries for different polyamorous relationships, and you need to be able to come to an agreement with your significant other as to what those boundaries are. You may want to establish that you’re each other’s primary partners, and other partners are secondary, or perhaps that you’re okay with casual flings but not significant, long-term relationships. It should be an open conversation with your significant other, as communication is important in all relationships, but it’s even more so in a polyamorous one.

A boundary you may want to set is that of doing some research on all potential partners before entering into a relationship. PeopleFinders can help you do that! You can do a full background check to ensure that you know about someone’s past, and even check criminal records so you know your partner is remaining safe. Just remember to establish that boundary before agreeing to the relationship arrangement. Doing it without checking that your partner is OK with it could put a lot of strain on your relationship.


Polyamorous relationships, just like any other relationship, require a lot of communication. It can be a great arrangement, but only if both parties are completely fine with what’s happening and aware of what the other partner is doing. If you want to make sure your partner is staying safe, a good thing to bring up is using PeopleFinders to check potential partners. Making sure everyone is comfortable is the first thing to tackle in a polyamorous relationship, and PeopleFinders will help you do that.

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