Dating can be hard, no matter who you’re dating. After all, you have to meet a person, connect with them, and then get to know them on a deeper level. For some, that’s difficult and not something that comes naturally.
Adding to that sense of difficulty is the aspect of safety. Whether or not you’re dating someone safe is something you need to keep in mind when you’re dating. It can be tough for people to know if a significant other is truly safe to be around, or if that significant other is hiding an important part of their past.
Some of the best ways to make sure you’re not dating a criminal are:
-Tracking what a partner tells you
-Chatting with their friends and family
-Trusting your gut feelings
-Looking up info about their past
Keep Track of What Your Partner Is Telling You
One of the simplest ways to make sure your partner isn’t lying to you is simply to keep track of what they tell you. If your partner is hiding an important part of their past, that past is bound to show up eventually. After all, your partner would have to hide those years intentionally. This means that at some point, a story’s going to cut through.
Of course, not every secret is a dangerous one. There are many reasons someone might be keeping a secret from you. Rather than something potentially dangerous, it could just be an experience your partner is embarrassed about or otherwise just not ready to share.
However, regardless of the reason, keeping track of what your partner says about the past will give you some insight into whether or not your partner is telling the truth.
Talk to Your Partner’s Family and Friends
This is related somewhat to the first concept. First off, you would hope that your partner’s family would give you the information you need to stay safe, especially if you’ve grown a friendship with those people. However, even if your partner’s family members all choose to hide the information from you as well, they’re all going to have to hide it in different ways.
Keep an eye open for certain periods of your partner’s life that your partner’s family and friends tend to shy away from. You should also pay attention to any stories that seem to contradict each other, especially if it’s two separate people telling you these stories. Sure, it might be nothing, but it could just as easily indicate a problem.
Trust Your Gut
You shouldn’t always just trust your gut with absolutely no evidence behind it. Your gut is usually clouded by your own experiences and prejudices. For example, if you’ve had problems with someone cheating on you before, you’re more likely to assume a partner’s cheating on you now, even if there isn’t a lot of information to back up that suspicion.
However, routinely ignoring your gut is just as bad as trusting it absolutely above all other information. If you start to feel unsafe around your partner, or you feel like your partner’s probably hiding something from you, it’s a good idea to take that fear seriously. Talk to your partner about it and express your concerns.
Look Up Any Past Criminal History
Before you make a decision about anything, you probably want to have some more concrete information to back it up first. At the very least, you want to try and rule out whether or not your partner is dangerous. But remember…just because your partner may lie about a part of their past doesn’t mean they’re dangerous.
Many people choose online public records sites like PeopleFinders to see if they can find any criminal history to be concerned about. PeopleFinders can make it easier to rule out past criminal offenses, or validate your concerns.
All you have to do is perform a criminal records check to try and find out if your partner has a history with the law. You can also perform a people search to attempt to learn more about your partner in general, which may help you see if your partner’s lying about something else that has nothing to do with crime.
A criminal history doesn’t necessarily mean your partner’s dangerous. Even a violent conviction from decades earlier could be less telling than you might think. (As in, they may have changed since then.)
However, that doesn’t mean you should just be okay with remaining ignorant about your partner’s path. You should always try to learn more about your partner, whether you’ve been together for years or you just started dating.
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